What Is Anticipatory Anxiety and How Can You Manage It?

Say you have an important event coming up, like a job interview or an important medical test. Instead of simply preparing and moving on, your mind starts spinning. You replay worst-case scenarios, struggle to sleep, and feel tension building in your body days before anything has even happened. If this sounds familiar, you might be experiencing anticipatory anxiety.

Anticipatory anxiety isn’t a standalone diagnosis, but it’s a very real experience that often shows up alongside conditions like generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety, and certain phobias. Understanding what it is and how to work with it can make a big difference in your day-to-day life.

What Makes Anticipatory Anxiety Different from Everyday Nerves?

It’s completely normal to feel some nerves before a high-stakes event. A little anticipation can even be motivating. Anticipatory anxiety is different, though. Your mind starts imagining something terrible happening around any scheduled event, even when the actual risk is low.

The core of anticipatory anxiety is a fear of the unpredictable. It’s not necessarily about the event itself, but about what you can’t control or foresee. Your brain locks onto that uncertainty and builds up a sense of dread that can feel far bigger than the situation warrants.

Common Symptoms to Watch For

Anticipatory anxiety can show up in both your mind and your body. You might notice:

• rumination

• catastrophizing (imagining the worst-case scenario)

• difficulty concentrating

• trouble sleeping in the days leading up to an event

• physical symptoms like headaches or stomach issues

• strain on your personal relationships

When anticipatory anxiety is at its most intense, it can feel like the event is already happening even when it’s still days away. That’s an exhausting place to live.

How to Manage Anticipatory Anxiety

Interrogate Your Worried Thoughts

When anxiety ramps up, it’s easy to let thoughts spiral unchecked. A more useful approach is to slow down and get specific: What exactly are you afraid of? And how likely is it that this fear will actually come true? Getting curious about your thoughts gives you a chance to evaluate them more clearly. Often, when you look directly at a fear, it becomes more manageable than it felt when it was just swirling in the background.

Practice Mindfulness

Anticipatory anxiety pulls you into the future. Mindfulness is a way of coming back to the present. This can be as simple as focusing on your breath, noticing physical sensations in your body, or tuning into what’s happening around you right now. The goal isn’t to stop the thoughts, but to practice not getting carried away by them.

Prioritize Sleep

Sleep deprivation and anxiety have a complicated relationship; each makes the other worse. Research has shown that poor sleep is linked to heightened anticipatory anxiety, so protecting your sleep in the lead-up to a stressful event is more than just self-care. It’s a practical way to give your nervous system the resources it needs to cope.

Build a Distraction Toolkit

Distraction often gets a bad reputation in mental health conversations, but used wisely, it’s a legitimate tool. The key is knowing in advance what works for you—whether that’s exercising, journaling, making art, cooking, calling a friend, watching a favorite show, or listening to music. Having a go-to list means that when anxiety spikes, you don’t have to figure it out in the moment. You already know what helps you get out of your head.

When to Consider Therapy

If you can’t feel in control of your life whenever something significant is on the horizon, it may be time to talk to a therapist. Contact us today about our approaches to anxiety therapy. We’ll help you identify the thought patterns driving the worry, challenge the assumptions underneath them, and build more effective responses over time.

You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through every event on your calendar. With the right support, you can move past anticipatory anxiety.

How to Manage Uncertainty in Relationships

Uncertainty is an unavoidable part of relationships. In fact, the only thing that’s really certain is the here and now. Whether two people will stay together or what challenges they may face are completely unknown. Still, many people have anxiety about the unpredictability of their relationships.

Those with a history of relationship insecurity, anxious attachment patterns, or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) may especially find themselves overanalyzing their feelings or their partner’s behavior. This can lead to cycles of doubt and rumination that negatively affect both their mental health and the relationship. Here’s how to start managing your anxiety around the uncertainty in your relationships so you can feel more confident.

Acknowledge Your Worries

An important first step is recognizing your anxieties. Instead of suppressing these thoughts, it can be useful to write them down. Make a list of the thoughts that keep resurfacing. For example, you might notice worries like:

• “What if we break up one day?”

• “What if they aren’t the right person for me?”

• “What if I’m making a mistake?”

This process can also reveal whether your anxieties are tied to certain events or behaviors from yourself or your partner. Identifying these patterns can help you manage your thoughts when they come up.

Keep Your Attention on the Present

Relationship anxiety often throws you into worst-case future scenarios, no matter how unrealistic they seem. One effective way to interrupt this pattern is by intentionally bringing your mind to the present moment through mindfulness.

When anxious thoughts about the relationship begin to spiral, pause and focus on slow, steady breathing. Notice physical sensations, such as the feeling of your body in the chair and the movement of your breath. Try not to judge or suppress your thoughts. Instead, gently bring your awareness back to what is happening right now. Practice mindfulness each day so that it’s a reliable coping mechanism you can turn to when your anxiety feels difficult to manage.

Develop Self-Trust

Much of the fear around relationships comes from the belief that if something goes wrong, it would be unbearable. By building confidence in your ability to care for yourself, make thoughtful decisions, and navigate challenges, the uncertainty around relationships becomes less overwhelming.

Trusting yourself means believing that you will:

• treat yourself with kindness

• make thoughtful decisions

• show up authentically in the relationship

• learn and grow from your experiences

You cannot control every outcome in a relationship, but you can control how you care for yourself along the way.

Communicate with Your Partner

Uncertainty can also feel more manageable when it’s not felt in isolation. In some situations, it can be beneficial to communicate openly with your partner about relationship-related anxieties. Sharing your worries can reduce the shame around your feelings. Letting your partner into your internal world can help them understand what is happening rather than misinterpreting your behavior. Together, you might also identify helpful ways to respond when anxiety hits.

However, in cases involving relationship OCD, it’s important to distinguish between healthy communication and reassurance-seeking. Repeatedly asking a partner for confirmation about the relationship may temporarily make you feel better, but can unintentionally reinforce anxiety. A therapist can help you find healthier ways to manage those urges.

When to Seek Professional Support

If uncertainty in your relationship begins to dominate your thoughts, cause significant distress, put a rift between you and your partner, or interfere with your daily life, it may be helpful to talk with a therapist.

Anxiety therapy can help you understand the roots of your anxiety, develop strategies to manage intrusive thoughts, and build a healthier relationship with uncertainty. To learn to tolerate the uncertainties in life and become more resilient, book a free 20 minute consultation today.

What Is High-Functioning Anxiety in Adults?

When most people picture anxiety, they imagine someone visibly distressed. They’re always canceling plans, struggling to get out of bed, and clearly overwhelmed. But anxiety doesn’t always look that way. For many adults, it’s hidden beneath a polished, high-achieving exterior. This is what’s often called high-functioning anxiety.

It’s worth noting that high-functioning anxiety isn’t a formal clinical diagnosis. It falls under the umbrella of generalized anxiety disorder. What makes it distinct is the way it shows up. On the outside, everything looks fine. On the inside, something very different is happening.

The High Achiever Who’s Quietly Struggling

People with high-functioning anxiety often look like the most put-together person in the room. They don’t miss deadlines, take on extra responsibilities at work, and hit every career milestone without letting anyone down.

But underneath that drive is something more complicated. There’s often a deep fear of failure, a constant worry about disappointing others, and an inner critic who’s always running in the background. This interior voice points out everything that could go wrong or everything that isn’t quite good enough.

In relationships and friendships, this can show up as taking on more than your fair share. You might struggle with saying yes when you want to say no, overextending yourself to avoid conflict, or spending a disproportionate amount of energy worrying about whether someone is upset with you.

The Symptoms You Can’t Always See

Like any form of anxiety, high-functioning anxiety comes with both emotional and physical symptoms. You might notice symptoms like:

• persistent worrying

• difficulty concentrating

• a sense of dread or impending doom

• irritability

You may also have physical symptoms that include:

• muscle tension

• headaches

• elevated heart rate

• gastrointestinal issues

The key difference is that for people with high-functioning anxiety, these experiences stay largely invisible to the outside world. Colleagues, friends, and even family members may have no idea what’s going on internally. That disconnect between how you appear and how you feel can actually make things harder over time and prevent you from getting help.

What You Can Do

If any of this resonates with you, here are a few approaches that can help:

• Move your body regularly: Exercise isn’t just good for physical health. It helps regulate your nervous system and can shift your mental state in a meaningful way, especially when anxiety is running high.

• Keep a journal: Writing down your thoughts can help you notice patterns, especially around situations that tend to trigger anxiety, like work stress or difficult relationships. Are you catastrophizing? Thinking in all-or-nothing terms? Journaling creates space to catch those thoughts and challenge them with something more balanced.

• Practice setting boundaries: You don’t have to say yes to everything. Leaving space in your schedule for rest is a necessity to take care of your mental health. People with high-functioning anxiety often have to actively practice the idea that their worth isn’t tied to their productivity.

• Let go of perfect: “Perfect is the enemy of good” is a useful reframe when anxiety is pushing you toward an impossible standard. Getting something done imperfectly is still getting it done. Progress in smaller, manageable steps is still progress.

You Don’t Have to Keep Managing This Alone

High-functioning anxiety can be easy to dismiss. After all, if you’re still showing up and getting things done, it can feel like it “doesn’t count.” But the cost of carrying all of that internally adds up. Anxiety therapy can offer a space to understand where these patterns come from, develop tools that actually work for you, and start to quiet the inner critic that’s been running the show.

If you’re ready to explore what that might look like, I’d love to connect.

5 Tips for Handling Anxiety

When anxiety takes hold, it can feel overwhelming. Your mind races, your heart pounds, and you might feel trapped in a loop of negative thoughts. In those intense moments, it can seem like the anxiety will never pass. If this happens to you, it’s important to practice anxiety-reducing techniques before anxiety hits so you have them ready in your mental health toolbox. Here are five practical strategies you can learn that will help you manage these feelings when they arise.

1. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is one of the most effective tools for managing anxiety, but here’s the key: it works best when you work it into your daily routine, since it can reduce the intensity of your anxiety over time.

To start, find a quiet place where you can sit comfortably. Breathe slowly and bring awareness to your body. Allow your feelings to simply exist inside of you without judgment. When you notice anxiety coming on, resist the urge to fight it. Instead, get curious. Where do you feel the sensations in your body? Where is your attention being pulled?

You don’t need to solve anything or criticize yourself for feeling anxious. Just notice. Label what you’re feeling by saying to yourself, “I’m noticing anxiety right now.”

Try incorporating mindfulness into everyday activities like brushing your teeth, showering, or washing dishes. Practice letting thoughts and feelings exist in your mind and body, then watch them pass through you.

2. Ground Yourself Through Your Senses

When your mind starts spiraling into anxious thoughts, you can interrupt that pattern by grounding yourself in your body through your senses. This technique differs from mindfulness because it’s more active and draws your attention into the present moment through what you can physically sense around you.

Try the 5-4-3-2-1 technique: identify five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This exercise redirects your focus and anchors you in the here and now.

3. Challenge Your Anxious Thoughts

Anxiety often comes with distorted thinking patterns. You might catastrophize, assuming the worst possible outcome, or engage in black-and-white thinking where everything feels all-or-nothing. Learning to recognize and challenge these thought patterns can help you see situations more realistically.

When you notice an anxious thought, ask yourself: Is this thought based on facts or feelings? What evidence do I have that supports or contradicts this thought? What would I tell a friend who was thinking this way? Question your anxious thoughts rather than accepting them as truth.

4. Use Your Breath as an Anchor

When you’re feeling anxious, your breathing often becomes shallow and rapid, which can intensify your physical symptoms. By consciously slowing and deepening your breath, you signal to your nervous system that it’s safe to relax.

Try box breathing: breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, breathe out for four counts, and hold for four counts. Repeat this cycle several times. This technique activates your parasympathetic nervous system, helping your body shift out of fight-or-flight mode.

5. Move Your Body

Physical movement can be incredibly effective for releasing anxious energy. When you’re anxious, stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline flood your system. Exercise helps metabolize these chemicals and releases endorphins that improve your mood.

You don’t need an intense workout. A simple walk around the block, some gentle stretching, or a few minutes of dancing to your favorite song can all help. The key is to find movement that feels good to you and that you can turn to when anxiety strikes.

Getting Help

Remember, managing anxiety is a process. You won’t master these techniques overnight, and that’s perfectly normal. If your anxiety feels unmanageable or is significantly impacting your daily life, reaching out to a therapist can provide additional support and guidance tailored to your specific needs. Schedule a consultation with me today about anxiety therapy to get started.

What is Anxiety?

Feeling nervous before a big presentation at work or stressed about an upcoming difficult conversation is completely normal. These occasional bouts of worry are part of being human. In fact, anxiety is a natural human response to perceived threat. It’s part of our survival system. When the brain senses danger, it activates the “fight, flight, or freeze” response, releasing stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol.

From an evolutionary perspective, anxiety has helped humans survive for thousands of years. But anxiety becomes an issue when this stress response becomes overactive or misdirected. Here’s how to recognize the different types of anxiety and where to get help.

Understanding the Difference

Anxiety is a diagnosable mental health condition when those feelings of nervousness and worry intensify, persist, and start showing up in everyday situations that wouldn’t typically warrant such a strong response. These fears and worries eventually become too difficult to control. For someone living with an anxiety disorder, that magnified sense of unease isn’t reserved for major life events; it infiltrates routine moments throughout the day.

Recognizing the Signs

Anxiety can develop at any stage of life. While some people experience symptoms in childhood, others don’t get anxiety disorders until adulthood. The symptoms can manifest in various ways, both mentally and physically.

Mental and emotional symptoms include:

• feeling restless or irritable more often than usual

• worrying about past or future events

• an impending sense of doom

• difficulty concentrating or making decisions

• feeling overwhelmed or out of control

• feeling self-conscious or ashamed

• hypervigilance

• negative thought loops (i.e., catastrophizing, all-or-nothing thinking, etc.)

Physical symptoms include:

• shortness of breath

• a rapid or irregular heartbeat

• shakiness

• dizziness

• dry mouth

• stomach upset

• insomnia

Ultimately, you may develop a strong urge to avoid situations or activities that trigger your anxiety. This can lead to a gradual withdrawal from places and experiences you once enjoyed.

Different Anxiety Disorders

Generalized anxiety disorder is the most widespread type. It involves persistent worry about routine issues like work, health, relationships, or finances. This anxiety feels hard to control, and people with GAD often describe feeling anxious “most of the time,” even when things are going relatively well. It also often coexists with other mental health conditions like depression.

Panic disorder is characterized by repeated episodes of intense fear or terror, known as panic attacks. These episodes can feel sudden and overwhelming, often peak within a few minutes, and sometimes have no apparent trigger.

Social anxiety disorder involves heightened anxiety around social or performance situations, driven by an intense fear of being judged, embarrassed, or rejected. This can lead to avoiding social interactions altogether.

Specific phobias involve strong, irrational fears of a particular object or situation, such as heights, flying, needles, animals, or confined spaces.

Agoraphobia is the fear of being in situations where escape might be difficult, or help might not be available if anxiety or panic occurs. This can include public transportation, crowded places, open spaces, or being outside the home alone.

Separation anxiety disorder is mostly associated with children, though some adults are affected by it. It involves excessive fear or distress related to separation from a specific attachment figure.

What’s Behind Anxiety?

The causes of anxiety are complex and multifaceted. Your genetic makeup, family history of mental health concerns, and past traumatic experiences all play a role. The environment you grew up in and your personality traits contribute as well.

Everyone’s relationship with anxiety is unique. What triggers one person’s anxiety might not affect another at all, and symptoms can vary widely from person to person.

Taking the Next Step

If anxiety is affecting your daily life, reach out to us about anxiety therapy. We’ll help you understand your anxiety and learn strategies to manage it. Schedule a consultation today to reclaim space in your life for what matters most to you.